Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

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What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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