How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

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Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

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how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. It's an average bar. However these men don't drink. The priest ordered some onion rings, the minister fries and the rabbi poutine. They're good friends despite their different religious views.

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a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops