Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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