How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

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What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

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why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

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life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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