Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

If your reading this, youre not blind.

What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

what does a human and a bucket of red paint have in common? . . Both are not tigers

What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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