Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

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That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops