Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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why did the panda go to the store? to buy milk.

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

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Fine, ladies first.

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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non poop

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why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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