How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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Black people in Camden NJ.

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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Cliterus

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Every Good Boy Deserves Fibromyalgia

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

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What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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