Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

Some parents named their sons: Who, What and Where. Many people were left confused as to the couple's decision, and some remarked that the sons would likely get picked on in their early school years.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

What is a poop on a poopstick? A pile of poop.

Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

I am a mime

Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

Whats cold and frozen? ice

What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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