What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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How did my grandparents survive the Holocaust? Well for starters, it helps that they weren't Jewish, they didn't live in Europe, and quite frankly, they probably would have supported Hitler because they were right wing pricks.

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

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Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

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What's worse than 9/11? FaZe Banks' upload times

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Why did the girl start crying? Her pet sunflower had just died.

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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Why didn't the boy get his mom anything for her birthday? He was killed by a drunk driver years ago

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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So one time there was this woman learning...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops