So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

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Hey, wanna hear a penis joke? Nevermind, it's too long.

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Waffles ate my grandma

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penis

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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