“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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