What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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identical jokes get different votes.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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