What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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