Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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