A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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