Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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Sloths

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Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

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Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

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Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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An atheist and a priest agree to a public debate. The priest doesn't make much of an attempt to argue because there is a young boy in his podium giving him a handjob.

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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