whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

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s s is for shit h h is for hit i i is for it t t is turtle

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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Roses are red, yup.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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