Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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