Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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Robin, get in the car!

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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hi dave

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25

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A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

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What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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Neil Lewis

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

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What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops