So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I've been hearing a lot of Jew jokes lately, Anne Frankly I'm sick off it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats red and hard to eat a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when the dog was was let out to chase the rabbit? It caught the rabbit and killed it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops