How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

if a fat guy in a red suit comes into your house on christmas. its not santa your about to get raped from chewy(:

What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

9/11

Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

A little boy went to a sleep over . They watched a episode of pokemon and the flashing lights triggered the boys epilepsy he was driven to hospital and is recovered.

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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