- Anti Joke

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

why does beyonce sing " to the left, to the left"? - cause black people have no rights

Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

Whats worse to see 100 dead babies on the bed of a truck or 100 fake babies falling directly from the empire state building... I don't know I have never seen either but if you could tell me if you saw it maybe i can use my imaination!!!

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

Q: Why did they laugh at the black guy? A: He told a funny joke.