what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

The cream, it is coming

big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

What's stupid a light bulb.

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

What's a stupid joke on anti-joke? One that involves a random number with absolutely no meaning

What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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