One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? Well, depending on your ideological views they are either both God's creations or two examples of species which have evolved over time. That is all.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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24

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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A smiling Frog talks with a lion O O U What do u eat for breakfast lion? V V T T Smiling frogs __(___ |____| O O -

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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