Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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nothing

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim in already in america.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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