Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Who's the fastest kid in AA

thumb_up thumb_down +13

q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man is riding down the road on his horse, Sally. He happens to see a horse without a rider, but with two saddles. He finds this peculiar, continues into town, and has a fine day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

CHAD'S A FAG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares? Seriously, who, on this planet, bothers to care about such a trivial matter? Is it really that important to you that must be given clarification as to why a random bird species just happened to cross a road? Will knowing benefit your life in some fashion? Well I'd like to know how. Ha! Perhaps you feel that, if you have the answer revealed to you, it will give you extra guidance of some sort in raising a chicken as a pet, or training a chicken to perform tricks for an animal contest, or something along those lines. Well I'm afraid you are out of luck, as I will not tell you. By reading this passage, you are wasting so much precious time. As you keep reading, seconds pass and you only waste more. You could be doing so much more with your life right now. Instead, you could be studying a topic that you might need to be knowledgeable about in the future. You could be shopping for goods. You could be painting a nice picture, writing a short story, or composing a piece of music. You could be getting exercise, or cleaning your house, or spending time with family, or even raising money for charity. There are countless meaningful tasks that you could be carrying out which would benefit you and others around you, including those who are less fortunate than you. But no. Instead you choose to do nothing, reading useless and forgettable anti-jokes on a crummy website, with a strange, fruitless desire of knowing why a chicken crossed a road. You must have such a sad life. You know what? I pity you, so I have decided that I will tell you why the chicken crossed the road. But only if you want to know. You might not want to know by this point. Do you still want to know? Are you sure you do? Are you really, really sure? Because I'm gonna tell you, regardless. Just keep reading! Don't take your eyes off the screen! You will find out exactly why the chicken crossed the road in 3... 2...1... and here we go! Ready, kids? The chicken crossed the road because... because... because... whoops, actually, I forgot. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops