What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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A bus crashes and everybody dies.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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Howdy stranger.... It is time for you to join! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! Moral: "HEY YOU! STFU! STFU! STFU! STFU!"

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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what did the man say to his horse? sex. -teagan doherty

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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Colin is gay but toasters are not

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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What's city is in New York New York City

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What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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