What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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Jew logic fail: Jew: We have endured suffering for thousands of years! Guy: And how old are you again? Jew: eight. Moral: If you see a goddamn moral in this one then post it yourself :P

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? He thought he saw a ghost.

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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