Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

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Five guys in white sheets chase a black man down the street. It is Halloween and all six people are close friends and enjoy goofing around.

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Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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What did the black man do after the white guy told a racist joke? Laugh

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops