How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

class is canceled. My professor died.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

2001, 2 airplains fly into the world trait centers. the pilots then had their licences taken away.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

-Why did the jewish man chase after the penny? -Because he's poor and needs to feed his starving family.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops