A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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