Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

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What does it take to play in the WNBA? Nothing....

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27

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Yo mama is so fat... she died due to type two diabetes.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

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Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Violets are actually purple or white

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. It's an average bar. However these men don't drink. The priest ordered some onion rings, the minister fries and the rabbi poutine. They're good friends despite their different religious views.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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