Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Me: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? You: No. Me: Neither have they.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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why did graeme go to olivias house to do fun things

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I'm rick james bitch

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

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I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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Tim likes girls

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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