Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

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i just wrote this so hard

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BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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why did the boy cry because i punched him so hard in the face he shit out his teeth for the next three weeks

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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