I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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Q: What did the black man do at KFC? A: nothing, he ate dinner at home.

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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