What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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What's greasier than a baby? A burger

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Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

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Is it hungry in here? Or is it just me?

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

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what does mandy enjoy on weekends a load of cum in her face

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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Sixty... eight

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Why couldn't the Jeffersons adopt a black baby? Their fireplace was empty.

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You might be a redneck if you have red on your neck

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What did the Momma Kangaroo say when she couldnt find her baby?

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Why was the bully in detention? He punched a fellow classmate.

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Q: what did the poor, blind, deaf, orphan girl get for Christmas? A: cancer.

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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Knock Knock Who's there? ........

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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