Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

What's in a glass and drinky? A drink

Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

Why did the black man jump off the cliff? Well , you see, this black mans name was yargle, and during his high school years, people always made nicknames for him some of which were fat yargle, yargaryar, and bottomyarg. He thought to himself that wanted revenge, So he killed the entire population of earth. Oh ya, and since he was the last human, wirhout possibility of reproduction, he went to the store and bought a can of soup

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: She was going to speek at a PETA meeting about the cruel conditions of chicken farms. I hit her with my car

Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

A seal walks into a club.

Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

Bob Saget that is all

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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