I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops