Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

What do porn stars do after they retire? No clue but some idiot made a movie about it.

Women's rights

Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

A blonde walks into a bar ouch

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it was tree

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

What's the difference between and Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout returned from camp.

You know whats funny Aids

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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