How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

Your adopted

Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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