You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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No soup for you!

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What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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