A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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