why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar, and he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Its behind you like if you looked behind

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I love pissing people off :P

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops