What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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asdf

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Where was Susy after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops