What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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joe diragi whacks off his dog

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

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Fat people

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What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

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I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

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Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

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Roses are red Im adopted

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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one of the idiot

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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