Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He was dead. Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third koala fall off the tree? He thought it was a game so he joined in.

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

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What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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An anti-joke

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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