How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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Hey whats sad about 4 black people going over a cliff in a cadillac. Nothing

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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Where were guinea pigs created? Probably in Guinea Land or something.

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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