Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

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A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

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1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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