Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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my mind's eye?

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A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

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Your mamma's so dumb, we are seriously worried she might hurt herself.

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are best friends and go shopping together.

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

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What did the loser say to the winner? Good game

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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