Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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Do you know any anti-jokes. Yeah, I do. It's a bit pointless though.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender in five states.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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