What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I cant find my anti-jokes this is also one

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops