One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

No soup for you!

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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